Frustrations

I knew there would be drama during my senior year--that was a given--because what would make senior year so different than my other years of high school, except it is the last? What I hadn't anticipated was the huge extent of the drama. I mean, seriously? What gives? At this point I am so over all the high school drama. Just send me my acceptance letters and I am out of here, off to college, off to higher learning, off on my way to becoming an adult. Yet, it is only November. I still have another half of the year to go. Don't get me wrong, I love high school. I love the classes I am taking, the clubs I am involved in, my somewhat appearing social life. But I really hate the drama. Especially stupid drama created by friends that makes no sense.

I mean, get over the fact that the certain guy out there doesn't like you and doesn't want to get married. You're SEVENTEEN for goodness sakes! You have your whole life ahead of you to find "Mr. Right." You can't change how this guy feels about his future just because you feel like it. And it is absolutely ridiculous to change every aspect of your personality for him. I am amazed how you became such a huge environmentalist overnight, yet cannot define what a carbon footprint is. Not to mention the fact that all you can talk about around me is how perfect he is. Or how you ditch me at lunch because of him. It really stinks that you haven't been around, and it is all because of a boy. Also, be happy for our friend that has found herself a great guy. Your jealousy is really apparent, and frankly, quite unbecoming. Stop rubbing it in my face that you have already been accepted into however many schools of your choice, whereas I just submitted my first application. I don't want to compete with you. I don't need anymore stress added to my life. Nor do I need your approval for everything I do. I am a big girl...I can make my own decisions. And just because I can't drop my life to come spend time with you when you deem it necessary, don't get mad. You haven't been there when I need you. And that really isn't fair.

So my goal is to transcend the drama--particularly this one. I am going to distance myself from certain people because my life is too hectic right now to have to deal with everyone else's junk at the same time. I deserve the kind of friends that are there to listen when I need them, not just when it is convenient for them. I need people who make me feel like myself, not some wallflower that doesn't really matter. And I am going to embrace those people that truly make me feel whole because they accept me for what I am, not what they want me to be.

I Must be Physic...

Last Sunday was a good day. A VERY good day. I took my little sister to Best Buy to stock up on new music. Together we purchased four Cd's.

• Boys Like Girls, Boys Like Girls
• The Format, Dog Problems
• Hellogoodbye, Hellogoodbye [EP]
• Corrine Bailey Ray, Corrine Bailey Ray

All are amazing. I am especially excited about Boys Like Girls. They sound so much like All-American Rejects. But better, if that is possible.

But that isn't the best part. As my sister and I were heading to the checkout line, something struck me. I suddenly veered over to the MP3 player section to look for a case for my Zen Vision:M. Cases are so hard to find for my player! And there it was...the pretty pink leather case that I had been ogling on the Internet. Original price: $32.99. Clearance price: $4.99!!! FIVE DOLLARS! So, I of course bought it. There were two, so B and I each got one. I was so excited!

The problem arose when we got home. I put the case on my player, and it worked wonderfully. B's on the other hand, locked up her player because it was too tight. I told her we'd go get her a new one, but she said she wanted to wait for it to stretch out. Needless to say, I get out of my shower and she tells me that it works perfectly, it only took a little bit to stretch it out. That seemed a little fishy to me. Later, in bed I go to play my music and it won't work...she traded cases while I was in the shower. She left before I got up on Monday, so I told my mom and she told me to go find B's player and trade the cases back. It wasn't in her room. She knew that I would call her on it because I am not stupid, so she took it to school--a direct violation of my mom's rules.

What bothers me the most is that this is not the first thing that has gone "missing" of mine. I have a list of things that have disappeared from my room and have mysteriously been "gifts" to B from her friends. I have realized that I have no privacy. Nothing of mine is safe from her. And when I go to call her on it, she gets mad because I am accusing her of stealing. Well, she is stealing! She is taking my things without asking, and not returning them. I don't know what to do...I've told my mom, and she has talked to B, but B denies it every time. As she is wearing one of MY favorite belts. I can't go through her room--that would make me no better than she is. I am so frustrated right now because I will be looking for something that I need for school or whatever, and I can't find it. I've taken an entire day tearing through my room to find something, and then I see it on B's bed the next day. I am so lost as to what I can do.

So, enough of that rant for now. I am so tired, I think I will go watch SNL now. Hope everybody is having a good weekend!

A Confession

Ok. I'll admit it. I am a Girlie Girl. Yes, my favorite color is pink. Yes, I hate camping. Yes, I am not a huge fan of hard rock music. Yes, in fact, I own two poodles, and tiny ones at that. I enjoy Meg Cabot books. I like painting my nails. I like talking on the phone for hours about absolutely nothing. I like reading Jane Austen books.

Fine, so sue me. But I am not afraid to speak up for myself. I am my own person, and I am not about to change who I am.

The Reliable One

Today was our Yearbook edit day for this deadline. I have noticed that the other members of my group really did no work. I have also come to notice that I have been the one that has gotten the most accomplished outside of class. Today I stayed until 7:30, while the others left around 6:00. They left me with almost everything to do, and even while they were there, they weren't doing much. One of them had her friends come and they just talked and did homework the entire time.

This caused me to think about what makes me the person everybody depends on. I really don't know. Is it because of my work ethic? My leadership? The fact that they know I will not settle for anything less than excellence? It really isn't fair that they expected me to be able to do everything myself. I guess I kind of made it easy for them to have me do the work, the fact that they know that I am a major perfectionist. Maybe I was too willing to come in and do extra work. Maybe next time I will set more boundaries. I have to sleep on it.