Frustrations

I knew there would be drama during my senior year--that was a given--because what would make senior year so different than my other years of high school, except it is the last? What I hadn't anticipated was the huge extent of the drama. I mean, seriously? What gives? At this point I am so over all the high school drama. Just send me my acceptance letters and I am out of here, off to college, off to higher learning, off on my way to becoming an adult. Yet, it is only November. I still have another half of the year to go. Don't get me wrong, I love high school. I love the classes I am taking, the clubs I am involved in, my somewhat appearing social life. But I really hate the drama. Especially stupid drama created by friends that makes no sense.

I mean, get over the fact that the certain guy out there doesn't like you and doesn't want to get married. You're SEVENTEEN for goodness sakes! You have your whole life ahead of you to find "Mr. Right." You can't change how this guy feels about his future just because you feel like it. And it is absolutely ridiculous to change every aspect of your personality for him. I am amazed how you became such a huge environmentalist overnight, yet cannot define what a carbon footprint is. Not to mention the fact that all you can talk about around me is how perfect he is. Or how you ditch me at lunch because of him. It really stinks that you haven't been around, and it is all because of a boy. Also, be happy for our friend that has found herself a great guy. Your jealousy is really apparent, and frankly, quite unbecoming. Stop rubbing it in my face that you have already been accepted into however many schools of your choice, whereas I just submitted my first application. I don't want to compete with you. I don't need anymore stress added to my life. Nor do I need your approval for everything I do. I am a big girl...I can make my own decisions. And just because I can't drop my life to come spend time with you when you deem it necessary, don't get mad. You haven't been there when I need you. And that really isn't fair.

So my goal is to transcend the drama--particularly this one. I am going to distance myself from certain people because my life is too hectic right now to have to deal with everyone else's junk at the same time. I deserve the kind of friends that are there to listen when I need them, not just when it is convenient for them. I need people who make me feel like myself, not some wallflower that doesn't really matter. And I am going to embrace those people that truly make me feel whole because they accept me for what I am, not what they want me to be.

And So It Begins--Or Rather, Continues

This is a little update because I know you all have been missing me terribly and are so lost without any insight into what is new with me.

• At my first Speech tournament (which was Saturday), I broke to finals in Drama. I have never broken to finals before in my previous three years of competition (semi-finals, yes; finals, no). I was so excited that I started to shake and couldn't really breathe. I totally had not anticipated going to finals, considering I had not truly had enough time to prepare. Plus, we were having a difficult time deciding if my piece was a Dramatic or a Humorous piece. Well, I guess it is Drama because I placed 5th overall in Drama! This was such a great tournament for us--we sent three to finals in Drama, two teams to finals in Duo, two to finals in Poetry, and our CX team took 3rd place. And on top of all that, I was able to convince P to do a Duo with me, which is SO exciting because the best Duos in my opinion are male/female. I am so excited for this year...it is going to be the best!
• I am really enjoying reading Crime and Punishment.
• Work is going well, and I like all the people I work with.
• College applications are on their way to being done. I have an interview with CC on Thursday, so we'll see how that goes. I am so excited!

Well, I actually am ahead with my homework at this point, and I may actually get to bed at a really reasonable hour. So, that's all for now, folks. Check back later for pictures from my trip to Mexico from a couple of weeks back. Have a great life until then!

Isn't it Ironic?

Check out my horoscope for the day. Easier said than done. But eerily accurate for how my life has been going.

Catching a cloud and pinning it down is never easy, dear Cancer, and unfortunately, that may be what you feel you need to do in order to keep on track with the energy of the day. Your mind is wandering in many different places, making it difficult for you to maintain focus. Meanwhile the cloud floating overhead is filled with information that you feel you need to grab hold of. In reality, what you need to do is learn how to relax.

On a brighter note, I have found my Drama piece for this year. Gold, I say. Gold.

Senior Year: A Prologue

I can't believe senior year is already three weeks over. I knew this year would fly by, but I never imagined that it would happen this fast. I feel that some of my friends are drifting away. I really don't want that to happen...especially this year, before everybody goes their separate ways. But I also find myself growing closer to people I had drifted away from years ago. Can anyone make sense of that? What is it that makes this so possible, growing away from some of the people you are closest to, yet growing towards some people that you thought you lost touch with? It does not make any sense to me. And to top it off, I want to make this year count. I plan on being involved...almost more so than I have been in the past. I just want to make the most of this year. Really live it up. I hope that everything that is already being pans out for the best in the end. All we can do is dream.

Hooray for Pulling an All-Nighter!

Last night was Prom, and I didn't attend the actual dance. Instead, I threw an Anti-Prom party for a bunch of people who were not going or could not go to Prom. It was so much fun! It was the 2nd annual Anti-Prom, and this year's costume themes were...drum roll please...dress up as your favorite famous idol, fictional or otherwise. It was so cool! I was Princess Mia (See post: Make My Life A Teen Novel) from the Princess Dairies books by Meg Cabot. J was Indiana Jones, S was a pirate, A was a flapper, and there were so many others, I can't remember who they all were!

Well, after everyone else left, J, S, A, and I stayed at my house until midnight playing Apples to Apples (I won). Then we headed over to the school for After Prom (12 am-5 am) where we met K. I had the best time! I felt kind of bad because A and S did not seem to be having the best time. I tried to get them involved, but they wouldn't. It wasn't like there was anything else I could have done. Then, K drove me home and I was in bed by 5:15. I slept until 2:30 this afternoon.

I'll update the rest of you guys at school. I have some AP Chem review to do...the test is a week from Tuesday! UGH!

Happy Randomness!

So, Speech Nat Quals are this Friday and Saturday. I am so nervous. I hadn't looked at my piece since State Quals, and I worked on it for the first time since then today. Luckily, I think that working with Mrs. G today made it about 10 times more powerful that it was before. I am pretty excited...it would be so amazing to go to Nationals without going to State. And I have a decent chance...41 entries in Drama, and the majority of those are probably fillers, and sending three to Nationals. I'll let you guys know how I do as soon as I know myself.

Don't you just love how everything hits you in the face right when you least expect it? Such as actually getting an A on an AP Chem test. But then there are those things you know you have to do in the back of your mind that seem to linger there until it is almost too late. Like my HOBY Junior Staff application, which is due Sunday. Or AP tests, which are just a little over a month away. Ahh, how I long to sit back with a good book.

Speaking of good books, I finished The Picture of Dorian Gray the other day. I absolutely LOVE the ending. All of you MUST read it, just so you can see how amazing it truly is. I think Wilde is one of my new favorite authors...now I just have to read some of his plays.

Well, the procrastinating has been fun, but I really must go clean out my backpack now...you would not believe the junk I have accumulated in it. Ta-ta!

Spring Means...

...a lovely week-long break. But that was last week. And I got onto the computer a whooping total of one time. So, to catch you all up...

I was bored, so I made not one, but TWO trips to Barnes and Noble for books. I was super happy because I was in desperate need of reading material...and this time I was hitting the classics. I bought The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, Walden and Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau, The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, and one not-so-classic, The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. I absolutely adore Dorian Gray. Wilde's writing style is fabulous...I can't quite describe it. I love buying new books. It is so exciting, cracking open the fresh spine and turning the pages. My favorite thing about a new book has to be how it smells, though.

Break consisted of locking myself in my room for two days and cleaning EVERYTHING. And going shopping. I've never gone anywhere for Spring Break. I don't really feel that I am missing anything. I much prefer spending a good amount of time in my bed, catching up on sleep.

The cool thing was, I actually had some of my friends in town, too. So one evening, K and I went and saw Blades of Glory. That was an amazing movie. I loved the humor and the plot. It was just a great movie to escape from the world for a few hours. I highly recommend it.

Well, I better be going. I have some little bits of homework to finish, and I hope to get to sleep at a semi-reasonable hour tonight. So, until next time, have fun!

I Must be Physic...

Last Sunday was a good day. A VERY good day. I took my little sister to Best Buy to stock up on new music. Together we purchased four Cd's.

• Boys Like Girls, Boys Like Girls
• The Format, Dog Problems
• Hellogoodbye, Hellogoodbye [EP]
• Corrine Bailey Ray, Corrine Bailey Ray

All are amazing. I am especially excited about Boys Like Girls. They sound so much like All-American Rejects. But better, if that is possible.

But that isn't the best part. As my sister and I were heading to the checkout line, something struck me. I suddenly veered over to the MP3 player section to look for a case for my Zen Vision:M. Cases are so hard to find for my player! And there it was...the pretty pink leather case that I had been ogling on the Internet. Original price: $32.99. Clearance price: $4.99!!! FIVE DOLLARS! So, I of course bought it. There were two, so B and I each got one. I was so excited!

The problem arose when we got home. I put the case on my player, and it worked wonderfully. B's on the other hand, locked up her player because it was too tight. I told her we'd go get her a new one, but she said she wanted to wait for it to stretch out. Needless to say, I get out of my shower and she tells me that it works perfectly, it only took a little bit to stretch it out. That seemed a little fishy to me. Later, in bed I go to play my music and it won't work...she traded cases while I was in the shower. She left before I got up on Monday, so I told my mom and she told me to go find B's player and trade the cases back. It wasn't in her room. She knew that I would call her on it because I am not stupid, so she took it to school--a direct violation of my mom's rules.

What bothers me the most is that this is not the first thing that has gone "missing" of mine. I have a list of things that have disappeared from my room and have mysteriously been "gifts" to B from her friends. I have realized that I have no privacy. Nothing of mine is safe from her. And when I go to call her on it, she gets mad because I am accusing her of stealing. Well, she is stealing! She is taking my things without asking, and not returning them. I don't know what to do...I've told my mom, and she has talked to B, but B denies it every time. As she is wearing one of MY favorite belts. I can't go through her room--that would make me no better than she is. I am so frustrated right now because I will be looking for something that I need for school or whatever, and I can't find it. I've taken an entire day tearing through my room to find something, and then I see it on B's bed the next day. I am so lost as to what I can do.

So, enough of that rant for now. I am so tired, I think I will go watch SNL now. Hope everybody is having a good weekend!

A Moment to Catch my Breath

Oh my goodness. It has been so long since I last posted. So much has happened! It feels nice to be able to sit down and just write for a few minutes. So, now on to my updates:

1. I am 6th alternate for the state Speech tournament in Drama.
2. I am probably attending State. (Not to compete, but rather to support my other teammates)
3. I am going to the Fall Out Boy concert in May. This has made my year.

I honestly can't think of anything else. I have been so insanely busy, yet I can't seem to think of anything that you don't know.

However, I have new music.

• Lily Allen, Alright, Still
• Fall Out Boy, Infinity on High
• Barenaked Ladies, Are Me, and Are Men
• James Blunt, Back to Bedlam
• The Academy Is..., Almost Here
• and more that I can't seem to recall at the moment.

I highly recommend all of these CDs. Superb. So go find them, buy them, and enjoy!