Frustrations

I knew there would be drama during my senior year--that was a given--because what would make senior year so different than my other years of high school, except it is the last? What I hadn't anticipated was the huge extent of the drama. I mean, seriously? What gives? At this point I am so over all the high school drama. Just send me my acceptance letters and I am out of here, off to college, off to higher learning, off on my way to becoming an adult. Yet, it is only November. I still have another half of the year to go. Don't get me wrong, I love high school. I love the classes I am taking, the clubs I am involved in, my somewhat appearing social life. But I really hate the drama. Especially stupid drama created by friends that makes no sense.

I mean, get over the fact that the certain guy out there doesn't like you and doesn't want to get married. You're SEVENTEEN for goodness sakes! You have your whole life ahead of you to find "Mr. Right." You can't change how this guy feels about his future just because you feel like it. And it is absolutely ridiculous to change every aspect of your personality for him. I am amazed how you became such a huge environmentalist overnight, yet cannot define what a carbon footprint is. Not to mention the fact that all you can talk about around me is how perfect he is. Or how you ditch me at lunch because of him. It really stinks that you haven't been around, and it is all because of a boy. Also, be happy for our friend that has found herself a great guy. Your jealousy is really apparent, and frankly, quite unbecoming. Stop rubbing it in my face that you have already been accepted into however many schools of your choice, whereas I just submitted my first application. I don't want to compete with you. I don't need anymore stress added to my life. Nor do I need your approval for everything I do. I am a big girl...I can make my own decisions. And just because I can't drop my life to come spend time with you when you deem it necessary, don't get mad. You haven't been there when I need you. And that really isn't fair.

So my goal is to transcend the drama--particularly this one. I am going to distance myself from certain people because my life is too hectic right now to have to deal with everyone else's junk at the same time. I deserve the kind of friends that are there to listen when I need them, not just when it is convenient for them. I need people who make me feel like myself, not some wallflower that doesn't really matter. And I am going to embrace those people that truly make me feel whole because they accept me for what I am, not what they want me to be.

Senior Year: A Prologue

I can't believe senior year is already three weeks over. I knew this year would fly by, but I never imagined that it would happen this fast. I feel that some of my friends are drifting away. I really don't want that to happen...especially this year, before everybody goes their separate ways. But I also find myself growing closer to people I had drifted away from years ago. Can anyone make sense of that? What is it that makes this so possible, growing away from some of the people you are closest to, yet growing towards some people that you thought you lost touch with? It does not make any sense to me. And to top it off, I want to make this year count. I plan on being involved...almost more so than I have been in the past. I just want to make the most of this year. Really live it up. I hope that everything that is already being pans out for the best in the end. All we can do is dream.

Hooray for Pulling an All-Nighter!

Last night was Prom, and I didn't attend the actual dance. Instead, I threw an Anti-Prom party for a bunch of people who were not going or could not go to Prom. It was so much fun! It was the 2nd annual Anti-Prom, and this year's costume themes were...drum roll please...dress up as your favorite famous idol, fictional or otherwise. It was so cool! I was Princess Mia (See post: Make My Life A Teen Novel) from the Princess Dairies books by Meg Cabot. J was Indiana Jones, S was a pirate, A was a flapper, and there were so many others, I can't remember who they all were!

Well, after everyone else left, J, S, A, and I stayed at my house until midnight playing Apples to Apples (I won). Then we headed over to the school for After Prom (12 am-5 am) where we met K. I had the best time! I felt kind of bad because A and S did not seem to be having the best time. I tried to get them involved, but they wouldn't. It wasn't like there was anything else I could have done. Then, K drove me home and I was in bed by 5:15. I slept until 2:30 this afternoon.

I'll update the rest of you guys at school. I have some AP Chem review to do...the test is a week from Tuesday! UGH!