Disappointment is Becoming a Familiar Emotion for Me

So, I haven't posted anything for a while now, and I think that it is time to give you a little update as to what has been going on with me. So, okay, my title isn't the cheeriest thing, but it pretty much sums up the past couple of weeks.

1. I didn't make Link Crew. It may not seem like such a huge deal, but to me it is. I had been looking forward to being a part of Link since 8th grade. True, it seems kinda dorky to be looking forward to something like that for so long, but it was really important to me. All the teachers who wrote me recommendations all said I was a shoe in and there was no way I wasn't going to get in. Well, they were all wrong. And I was stupid to be so cocky about it. I just didn't think it would be possible for me to not get in. But it was, and now I get to wait till senior year to try it all over again.
2. I lost the elections. Yeah, I am not going to be the next Treasurer of the class of 2008. Again, something I have been wanting to do for a long time. Last year I ran for Secretary and lost. I should have known better again. Student Council elections are popularity contests, and I really hate to say that. But it is the truth, so it must be said. So, I will still be on Student Council, but I just wanted to have a bigger role than I have played this year. And if I had held an office this year, I would have definitely ran for an Executive office my senior year. Now I am doubting that. It really stinks.

So, here I am trying to make a difference, but each and every time I just keep getting shot down. It's enough to make me want to give up and just not try anymore. But that isn't me. So I'll just soldier through next year, only being the VP of the Speech and Debate team and doing the HOBY thing in June. I just wanted to do so much more...

Time to listen to my new theme song, "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter...sigh.

A Couple Quick Questions

Why do bad days always travel in groups? I mean, one bad day is bad enough, why do I have to go through three in a row? And I can't seem to make it any better. Have I angered some kind of Bad Day God? What have I done wrong? What did I do to deserve this kind of slow, painful torture? I mean, I have been trying so hard to make it better, but it just seems to keep getting worse and worse. Looking back on the past couple of months, I've had more bad days than good days. Sure, there is the occasional OK day, but I just want to have a GOOD day. Is that too much to ask?

Who Would Have Thought!?!

So Friday and Saturday was the National Qualifying Speech Tournament. I wasn't really as nervous for this one because I didn't think I'd stand a chance, I thought I was going to be eliminated after the first two rounds, like last year. Boy, was I wrong. I made it to Semi-Finals! I was so surprised that I couldn't even talk when I saw that I had one down and one up, that meant I was still in it! These two girls who were incredible were in all three of my rounds, one was from Kent, the other from Creek. They really weren't supposed to do that, but they matched us all up. It turns out I was ranked down and out in the Semi-Finals round, but that was okay to me, I mean, I MADE IT TO SEMI-FINALS!! Oh, and by the way, those two girls I was always up against? Yeah, they are representing our district at Nationals in Dallas in June. They were amazingly funny, but I know that in my second round, I BEAT one of them.

Next, year will be my big year, I can feel it...

A Bunch of Random Thoughts all Thrown Together

Its been gorgeous the last few days. I haven't seen the sun like this in a good few weeks, but it has been crazy windy. Good weather to fly kites, but mine are all put away. Maybe next time. Ok, I know, flying kites. But it is still so awesome. If you don't believe me, go try it. Yeah, you'll get it then.

So, I have also come to a great conclusion. With the amount of CDs and music that I want to buy, I really need to get a job at a music store (employee discount). I cannot tell you how many CDs I have bought in the last six months, and let me tell you, it isn't all that cheap. Today I bought two new CDs: KT Tunstall's Eye to the Telescope and Fall Out Boy's first CD Take this to Your Grave. Both are incredible. KT is up there with Michelle Branch on my inspiration list.

I saw Rent on Friday. Amazing. I am going to buy that as soon as the prices go down. A must-see musical ("rock-opera" weird, huh?).

I've been writing a bunch of poems/songs lately. I should really start working on the music for them. Its been a year that I've been playing the guitar, and I am really excited about that. For all those that didn't think I could do it: HA! It has become a HUGE part of my life. I can't imagine NOT playing now. I know that it will always be a part of me, and I really wish I could work up enough nerve to play in front of people besides Alex, Lizzie, and my family. I think it would be so amazing to actually get up on stage and just do my thing, but it will be awhile before I can do that. I just need the guts, and that is a huge thing.

In addition to my poems/songs, I've also begun a story. It needs some work, but I hope to devote quite a bit of time to it over break.

I need some opinions. I haven't posted any of my writing because I really don't want it to be ripped off. But I feel that Lizzie and I are the only ones seeing it, and I want to share some of it with more people. What do you all think I should do?

I apologize for being so out there with this post, its been that kind of weekend. Thanks for always bearing with me.

Buh-Bye CSAP!

NEVER AGAIN! I NEVER have to take CSAP again! I just barely lucked out...one year younger and I would be stuck with it for two more years. I mean, I've only been taking these tests for, oh, seven years now, since third grade. Anyway, my brain is dead, so I am going to sleep now...I'll update you later...

Zzzzzzzz.........

The World has a Clearer "Ring" to it Now...

Ahhh, new guitar strings. I feel so much better now. It was actually slightly distracting when I tried playing with brand new strings, I could barely recognize my guitar's sound. I haven't had new strings since...ummm, let me think, its been so long...I want to say June. Yeah, June sounds right. It is such an incredible feeling, having those steel wires reverberate and the whole world sounds so much cleaner, so much crisper. I have been looking forward to this day for about a week now, and now that I have new strings, I feel new. Cheesy, yes, I know, but it is absolutely true. I sound so much better too, and now, as I am sitting here trying to do my homework, I want to just go play for about an hour. Or two. Or maybe even all night. I am incredibly distracted and haven't felt this want--no, it's more of a NEED--to play in so long.

I am going to be completely random now, but what else is new. I just thought I should warn you first, so you don't think I have lost my ENTIRE mind...heehee.

Kakos posted this amazing video to our class blog. I mean, WOW. Here is my comment to it, and I suggest that you all make time (8 minutes, you should have that much time) to watch it. I want to hear what you guys all think. The site is : http://robinsloan.com/epic/

WOW. Am I the only one who thought that that was cool beyond all belief? But then I noticed a problem that relates directly to me. If this were to happen, I would have no future. I really want to go into the journalism profession, and if this were to happen, there would be NO journalism. I also found it incredibly scarey about "Googlezon" creating a personalized story for each user, and the fact that the Supreme Court would rule in favor of it. How could the world function as a whole if each individual got different information? I realize that this is actually a case today, but it is not to this HUGE extent.

Also, what do you think the government would think about this? They actively censor information that is released to civilians. Did you know that the BBC releases international news before we even hear about it in the US? That's because our goverment evaluates the story and only lets us hear what they really want us to. If each person could share information globally, how could anyone keep track of the truth anymore? Each person would put their own spin on an event, causing mass chaos. If this were to really happen, all communications would break down and we would be socially set back many years. It would probably cause the break down of the world's communications infrastructure.

Or maybe I am just being a conspiracy theorist. But I know we are safe to say that it would just be downright BAD.

So Nervous I Can't Even Think Straight!

So, I am leaving for States Quals in a few minutes, and I am going crazy. My voice is barely here, so I don't know how I am going to do. Of all the times to get sick with a sore throat...

Anyhoo, I'll keep you posted...